It’s tailgate season and I’ve never watched a game without drinking — help! Does this sound familiar?

Sports are a huge part of American culture, and the activities around games almost always involve alcohol. I’ve had countless people tell me they cannot imagine watching their favorite teams without a drink in their hand or fear that everyone will notice if they don’t join in the drinking festivities. A sober life means reimagining how you will engage in social activities without drinking. Here are some ways you can cheer on your favorite teams without it becoming a trigger. 

Create a substance-free space

Host a viewing party in your home and set a firm boundary that your space is substance-free. People will either show up without alcohol or view the event at another location if they want to drink while watching. This boundary can be established at most locations — tailgate, restaurant (no drinks at your table), or supportive friend’s house. Be mindful of triggering spaces like sports bars.

Keep a (non-alcoholic) drink in your hand.

You can still keep a drink in your hand. Stock up on a variety of beverages and experiment. Soda, sparkling water, mocktails, tea, or coffee are all great options. Get creative! For many people in sobriety, having a drink in their hand provides a sense of comfort and may minimize the number of times you’re asked if you need a drink.

Create new rituals and traditions for your team.

If you’re used to a celebratory shot after each goal, find some other way to celebrate. Make up a silly touchdown dance with your kids. Learn to keep a play-by-play score. Write your own team-specific trivia game for everyone to play. 

If you like to watch games alone, create a workout plan and do a cycle of reps each time something happens in the game. For example, every time your team scores, do a set of push-ups or sit ups for each point. If the other team gets the ball, do your favorite exercise to keep yourself motivated and offset feelings of disappointment. Do a cardio activity for the entire duration of the commercial break, and amp up the intensity if you see an advertisement for beer. Or, leave the room during the commercial break. You control what you do or do not watch.

Have an exit plan.

Your health comes first and sometimes leaving an event is the way to prioritize your needs. Consider the boundaries to implement in advance. How will you know when it’s time to go? Depending on your stage in sobriety and those you’re around, you may have a different reason for why you are leaving. Knowing what you will say when you’re ready to leave can help ease anxiety.

Simply saying you need to go is enough. Yet, sometimes it can be helpful to practice a few phrases to use if simply saying it’s time to go is challenging. Preparing some phrases to excuse yourself may help alleviate some anxiety around leaving early. While still being authentic, you can say that you’re not feeling well, you’re tired, or have an early morning the next day. Consider how you will choose to detach from the event, if needed.

Stay present.

In sobriety, you may notice that you experience your life more vividly and you’re able to recall memories more easily. When something especially memorable happens in a game, stop and take a moment to fully appreciate it. Honor that you were witness to it and can connect with the feelings of excitement and joy.

Know that people are far less observant than you think they are. We remember being teenagers and having that huge red zit on our face; we worried that everyone would notice it, especially our crush. And how often did someone say something? Probably rarely.

Unless someone knows you’re sober and you’ve agreed they will help hold you accountable, it’s likely that no one else will notice that you are not drinking alcohol. The focus will be on the game and having fun with each other, rather than whether or not you are drinking.

A final note.

You do not need to explain your sobriety to anyone. Having responses to frequently asked questions can help you stay present and cope with anxiety around sporting events. “No” is a complete sentence. These tips and tricks are helpful in considering how you want to show up for an event and which boundaries you feel comfortable creating. Your health is the most important factor to consider.

Sober fun is possible! Changing up your routines can help you get back into activities you used to enjoy when you were drinking. You can still have fun in your new mindset.