Polarizing. It’s a word that pops up in every assessment of the political climate today. Polarizing: pick your team. Split into your groups. Us vs. them, you vs. me. The poet in me can’t help but play with the word “pole” a little and imagine us all decamped to our separate frozen wastelands. Us in Antarctica. Them up near Greenland somewhere. 

The news and your Facebook feed (and probably the people around you) spend a lot of time talking about why the other ice camp is the worst. But that doesn’t solve a huge problem: how do we survive in this climate? 

Are there even snow boots rated for temperatures this cold?

How can we feel more connected to ourselves and the world when so much of the conversation around politics seems designed to disconnect?

Everyone’s strategies for surviving this political climate are going to be a little different. “Just turn off the news” doesn’t really cut it for most of us. This week, uncertainty looms larger than ever, and it’s normal to revert to refreshing Twitter or leaving the news on in the background because you’re not sure what else to do. 

The clinicians at Alexandria Art Therapy have several strategies that may help, as well insight on how they practice a healthy balance in their own lives. Read on for the team’s reflections and some tools they suggest for their specific client specializations. 

CREATING BALANCE, STAYING GROUNDED THROUGH UNCERTAINTY

ADELE STUCKEY: Much of the work with my clients revolves around creating some sort of balance. Finding moments for self care — or just a breath. Because let’s face it, there’s a lot on our minds right now. 

I encourage clients to determine what feels right for them — check in with the news a few times per day or once per week. What feels like enough to keep connected (if that’s right for you) and where does it lead to feeling like too much?

When I say “too much”— I’m talking about that window of tolerance. Where can you consume this information, take action, AND remain present?

If you notice your heart racing, your mind spiraling, or you’re disconnected from the environment around you? That might be a cue to pull back a bit.

CELESTE CANTEES: It’s difficult sometimes to know what to do with all the chaos. What issue do we begin with? What feelings do we attempt to target? We may even feel guilty or anxious if we attempt to unplug for an evening or weekend to emotionally recuperate. 

LAURA MILES: It is absolutely okay to NOT be okay. None of us signed up for this. Humans hate uncertainty, and we are terrible at sitting with it (though, luckily, we can practice and get better at this), so of course news headlines and heated debates trigger those anxious feelings. 

When I feel this, it makes me feel like I can't control anything. And sure, I can't directly control my family members or the news, so it helps to remind myself of the small things I can control to regain a sense of being grounded. I can control what I eat for breakfast, the temperature of my shower, and the background on my phone. 

BEING ENGAGED WHILE YOU’RE EXHAUSTED 

MATTHEW BROOKS: One thing to keep in mind is that people process experiences in different ways. For some people, talking through an experience or feelings is the best way to feel better, but for other people, that doesn’t really process the emotion. You may be a person who processes things through taking action. In a political context, when we think about “taking action,” remember that it doesn’t have to be leading the charge. Physically delivering your mail-in ballot is action. Writing postcards to voters in your district is action. Just doing these small things, especially if you’re moving your body to complete the task, may help you confront the anxiety and out-of-control feelings you’re experiencing in this election season. 

LAURA: I've been thinking for myself about how to stay engaged while feeling totally exhausted, and how so many messages we're seeing right now are about "do more, be more, work more, live more." I cannot be and do everything for everyone, especially when I feel I can barely do that for myself. There's been this long-standing message of "think globally, act locally," but even that feels like too much. It's okay to scale it down to "do what you can, where you are, with what you have." And if the only thing you can do right now is get up from your bed and move to your couch, at least put on clean underwear on the way. 

SOCIAL MEDIA: BAD FOR NEWS, WORSE FOR DEBATE

KATHRYN HARLOW: I do advise my clients to limit news consumption, but another important piece is to be very mindful about where you go to consume news. Try to pick reputable news sources that provide objective information, and try to avoid those clickbait headlines. They are designed to be triggering--they are looking for shock and awe. One way to do this is to avoid social media as your primary news source. Sometimes there are links to good content there, but when we get stressed while using social media, we can freeze up--it’s hard to stop scrolling, separate from our devices, and return to balance. 

LAURA: The two questions I ask myself most often these days are "Will this harm me/someone else?" and "Will this contribute to my happiness?" If the answers to those questions are first "no" and then "yes," I have tried my hardest to do that thing without regret.

I'm a big fan of "know your audience.” If you are having social/political conversations, be aware of how and where you show up for that. I don't know anyone who's ever had a social media debate and come away thinking, "You know, that person really had great points and I see where I can change my perspective." Maybe it happens out there somewhere--anyone who's figured this out, please let me know your secrets! 

And to that point, let's normalize changing your opinion and acknowledging when others do. It takes hard work to change thoughts and beliefs, so let's celebrate when someone says, "I reflected on that, did some reading, and now my perspective is different."

PARENTING & ELECTION STRESS: MIND YOUR BANDWIDTH, FOCUS ON COMMUNICATION

ADELE: Parents are feeling overwhelmed right now. The amount of news you consumed in the past might need to be different now. We’re full time workers-parents-partners and teachers. Our bandwidth is probably different than before, so it’s to be expected that our capacity for political news consumption or engagement is, too. Be easy on yourself.

I often share with my clients that I tune into the news once a day, as I’m getting ready. It’s a holdover from an old habit of watching the news in the morning. This time, though — I tune into NPR’s Up First— a 15 minute podcast that catches me up on some of the headlines. It’s just enough, but not too much. And if I need less, I don’t tune in. It’s about striking a balance. And when I need to catch up more — I breathe deeply, I ground myself, and I open up the news.

CELESTE: I see conflict within families balancing different viewpoints, but also just having differing abilities to process current events. Young children aren’t yet intellectually able to grasp what is happening in the world or what all the adults are talking about. It’s common for children to act out or show changes in behavior as a result. Adolescents are working hard to identify their own developing opinions and worldviews. In a tense political climate, this can cause pre-existing, unresolved differences between children and caregivers to rear up alongside new conflicts. These differences will demand attention one way or another, sometimes turning into a three hour argument over where the plates go in the kitchen if time isn’t made for civil discussion on the issues at hand. 

In order for families to build healthy and supportive relationships, every member of the family needs to feel heard and seen. This can be achieved even if we disagree. Talking about difficult topics starts with your own inner reactions. Parents and caregivers may not agree with their teens on a topic, or your teenager may bring something up that’s completely unfamiliar to you. 

Skills like reflective listening (trying to understand a speaker’s point of view, then offering the idea back to them in order to confirm you understood), managing personal reactions (like interrupting and raising your voice), and self-regulating your own inner triggers are only some of the things I work on with a family struggling to understand one another. It can feel like a slow, conscious process at first, but these communication skills become more automatic once practiced. The microcosm of a household is the perfect place to practice these skills, set examples for our children so they live more successful, loving lives in society with others, and expand our personal ability to work through our own blind spots, viewpoints, and convictions.

SUBSTANCE ABUSE & ELECTION STRESS: A PERFECT STORM

LAURA: From a substance use perspective, having a lot of free time and a constant stream of news creates the perfect environment for relapse or increase in use. It's okay if this happens - you haven't failed. This is why we talk about relapse prevention--so that when you inevitably reach those tough moments, you have resources in your hand that can help you through. Maybe it feels like the world doesn't care about you or your recovery, but as long as you care about yourself, that's ultimately what matters most.

When substance abuse is used as a political platform or issue, it can dehumanize and invalidate real-life experiences. You might feel like public figures are talking about you without you--they don’t know what it means to live and work through recovery, but they might present as if they are experts on the topic. Remember that your recovery is not someone’s “social issue.” It is real and valid, not an abstract idea up for debate. You are the expert on your own substance use, and your support team (therapist, family, sponsor, etc.) is your co-expert. It is normal to feel angry when substance abuse is talked about on the campaign trail in a way that assigns shame or blame, and it’s healthy to bring those feelings to therapy.

RELATIONSHIPS & ELECTION STRESS: LISTEN UP

CELESTE: In couples therapy, issues with understanding one another may turn out to be a guiding light into differences the couple decides are non-negotiable; that relationship may need to end amicably. Or, these topics could be the valuable key the couple uses to unlock the differences in their communication and listening patterns. Then they can better show up for one another.

The trauma and chaos of our current events triggers a lot of relationship difficulties. I try to help my clients reframe their struggles. Rather than avoiding the difficulties, use them as an opportunity to practice communication skills and develop improved empathy for the other person’s point of view. Political issues give us all the opportunity to LISTEN to the lived experiences of others, to learn from those different than ourselves, and to improve communication gridlocks that keep our entire society from functioning in a healthy and accepting way. 

TRAUMA SURVIVORS & ELECTION STRESS: BALANCING INFORMATION, AVOIDING TRIGGERS

KATHRYN: Trauma creates a physiological response in your body and brain: fight, flight, or freeze. A variety of external stimuli can trigger these responses, including the media we’re exposed to. With smartphones in our pockets, computers on our desks, and televisions in our living rooms, it can be difficult to avoid media or others’ opinions about it. 

It’s even more difficult in 2020, where we’re experiencing a global health pandemic, racial injustice and reform, and the presidential election. Trauma survivors are faced with trying to balance staying informed with avoiding being triggered and retraumatized. Potentially triggering media can include content about interpersonal violence, war and acts of political violence or turmoil, sexual assault, infringement on human rights, or dehumanizing language.

When working with trauma survivors, I want them to know they have the right to choose what news and media they consume, how they consume it, and when they consume it. 

Your decision on how to consume or avoid media will be based on how your trauma symptoms manifest. If you have nightmares or increased anxiety that affects your sleep, try to avoid media consumption in the evening. If you struggle to concentrate on work, parenting, or other important daily tasks, you may want to limit media consumption in the morning. 

If you find you “freeze” or feel stuck reading story after story online, you may want to place time limits on when you access media. Turn off notifications for social media and news websites on your phone. This will give you more control over when you seek out this information. 

If you know your triggers, that can be a good starting point for asking for support from others, as well. Tell your friends and family if there are certain types of stories you’d prefer they didn’t share with you, or if you need space from certain conversation topics. 

You don’t need to prove to anyone that you’re “tough enough,” “smart enough,” or “informed enough” by keeping up with the 24-hour news cycle. Maintaining your own mental health and wellness is more important.