How to Cope with Your Child Returning to In-Person School
As parents, we all want what’s best for our kids. And frankly, another school year in a pandemic doesn’t feel good, much less “best.” Approaching this school year, many of us find ourselves reliving our own experiences in school and wanting things to be different for our kids. This kind of pull towards reparenting is normal, but it may not feel possible (or actually be helpful) in the midst of a pandemic.
I want my kids to have more of a social life than I had in school--but how is that possible with social distancing? I just want them to have a normal school year.
As the in-person school year begins, you may be experiencing a variety of emotions: worry (what if they get sick?); fear (and the worst happens?); hope (but maybe they can reconnect with their friends in person?); and anger (I can’t believe we’re returning to in-person school now when the numbers are worse than ever).
Here are a few suggestions of how to cope during this transition.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK QUESTIONS
Over the last few weeks, I have heard several examples of parents feeling like they weren’t given an opportunity to ask questions. Orientation was, shall we say, disorienting, with no emphasis on COVID protocols. Or questions were dismissed with phrases like “even vaccinated people can get sick, so what does it matter?” Push through anyway. Don’t be afraid to reach out to the childcare providers, teachers, or administrators multiple times to get your questions answered. If protocols haven’t been outlined, make sure you get clarity on COVID exposure specifics so you can begin to think through what an exposure would mean, emotionally and logistically, for your family.
GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO FEEL DISAPPOINTED
This is the third school year kids have been impacted by the pandemic. No one imagined this experience for their children. It’s okay to feel let down, sad, or scared.
WHO ELSE NEEDS CARE?
In addition to taking care of your kid, make sure you’re also taking care of yourself. With all the extra preparations that come along with starting a school year, what might you need to focus on for yourself? Think basic: are you making yourself a lunch? Are you, too, getting a good night’s sleep?
SEEK CONNECTION
Connect with people who have similar risk-mitigation strategies as you do. Be aware of the gaslighting that can go on if you are not in a like-minded community. When you are surrounded by particular narratives, it can cause you to question if you are making the right decisions for yourself and your kids. Seeking out connection with others who are making the same decisions can help you cope with the rest of the uncertainty of this difficult time.
