A New Year's Recalibration
Every new year gives us a chance to reflect and look forward, but perhaps none more so than the arrival of 2021, after a year where the structures of our lives collapsed beyond recognition. The other day I got a fortune cookie that said, “The night life belongs to you,” and I found myself wondering not, will I ever experience the “night life” again? but rather, how old are these fortune cookies?
Lest we think everything has changed, this year hasn’t freed itself from the “new year, new you” pressure we know and love to hate. It’s just a bit more self-aware this year. We aren’t standing in the break room at work as our colleague expounds on the merits of their new juice cleanse. Instead, we’re at home, in sweatpants, scrolling through Instagram memes bidding a vitriolic farewell to 2020, with the hesitant implication that 2021 will be different. And with it, we will also be different.
At some point in 2021, we won’t be so scared. So trapped. So anxious. We will be free to see our friends and families. The night life might just belong to us. Surely the world can’t end twice. (Cue nervous laughter.)
The Alexandria Art Therapy team has been thinking a lot about the transition into 2021 and what might be more helpful than a traditional list of resolutions. Here’s a peek into our conversation.
WHAT TO HOLD ON TO? WHAT TO LET GO?
MATTHEW BROOKS: When we’re thinking about the transition into the new year, we might try asking ourselves more questions rather than making firm statements of resolution. What do you want to hold on to? What do you want to let go of? There’s an exercise I like for the new year: trace both of your hands on a sheet of paper. Inside one hand, put the things you want to hold on to. On the other, put the things you wish to let go. Use words--art--whatever expresses the things, people, feelings, behaviors best.
DOT DANNENBERG: I read an article about the new year by the poet Maggie Smith, and she pointed out that the word “resolution” actually has Latin roots in the word resolver, meaning “loosen” or “release.” We always think about resolutions as things we’re going to do or change, but to me, creating my “letting go” hand was really clarifying.
MATTHEW: This hand directive really opens up a lot of other questions for us. How do we choose what stays and what goes? What can we do to exercise boundaries and keep the old habits from sticking around? Putting it down on paper, and in our own hands, so to speak, is a good first step. It brings our attention to what might not be serving us anymore and also what we’re doing well.
THIS DOES NOT SPARK JOY
LAURA MILES: My immediate response to this exercise was “how can I KonMari my emotions?” (Spoiler alert: I probably can’t.)
DOT: This does not spark joy, so out it goes. Can I schedule a GreenDrop pickup for my anxiety? Thanks.
ADELE STUCKEY: I’d love to KonMari my feelings of fear, anxiety, anger, and grief for all that has changed over this past year. And yet, instead, I’ll set intentions to practice what I preach— see it, feel it, honor it, move it in my body if I can, and self soothe.
DOT: I tried not to put feelings on my hand project, but fear definitely made it onto the “let it go” hand. That’s kind of impossible, though, right? If you don’t sit with and process your fear, “letting it go” is really just another word for denial.
ADELE: I will acknowledge that this is hard when life is still moving forward and you’re juggling everything that comes with it — cue: hungry, tired toddler / unexpected internet outages / knowledge of an exposure risk / etc. It’s not easy to feel all your feelings all the time.
A FOCUSED INTENTION
DOT: It’s a lot. I’ve been thinking about the new year in terms of simple arithmetic--what do I want to add, what do I want to subtract. And I want to tack on a third question: how do I want to feel? Susanna Newsonen for Psychology Today suggests getting really specific: “If you want to feel happy, is it about more laughter and smiles, or a calm sense of contentment? If you want to feel relaxed, is it about feeling physically looser or mentally more stable, or both? If you want to feel inspired, is it about feeling driven and motivated, or energized and focused?”
LAURA: There's also this practice called OneWord, where instead of a bunch of goals you want to work on in the new year, you focus just on one word of intention to act as a guide. The idea is to see where you can incorporate the practice into your life. Maybe your word for 2021 is “rest” or “peace.” I’ve chosen “explore” for this year--bringing curiosity to relationships, work, play, and things that aren’t serving me well anymore.
RECALIBRATIONS, NOT RESOLUTIONS
ADELE: “Rest” would be a good choice, for sure. For me, with the transition to the new year, it’s all about keeping things small. You won’t hear me call them resolutions, but I love the opportunity to recalibrate at any time. A new year provides a tangible marker for this. So, I’m channeling in a slower pace and extra rest (9pm bedtime, anyone?). After a hard 10 months I, like everyone, notice how much Zoom fatigue has an effect. While I know nothing has actually changed just because it’s now January, I hope the new calendar year brings a bit less existential dread and a bit more hope.
Here’s a look at some of the “hold on / let go” hands our team made for the new year. We’d love to see yours, if you’d like to share! Tag us on Instagram* (@alexandriaarttherapy), and check our stories for a quick template.
*Disclaimer: voluntarily sharing artwork over a social platform is not considered sharing private therapeutic artwork.